Engaged couples are forced to postpone their weddings due to social distancing measures.
Can labor of love be extended in place of a wedding gift?
That’s what one anonymous bride-to-be is asking in a recent etiquette post shared to the “Wedding Shaming” subreddit.
The 27-year-old Reddit user, who has been engaged since 2016 and is currently aiming to have a 2022 wedding, asked the 165,400-plus-member group if it would be OK if she asked her fiancé’s aunt to help with their reception décor.
“My fiancé’s aunt is incredibly crafty. She makes these incredibly indicate and breathtaking quilts. She plays the sewing machine like a fiddle,” the bride-to-be wrote Saturday. “Would it be tacky, bridezillaish, or any other form of terrible to provide her with fabric and ask that she make table runners in lieu of getting us a gift? That the labor of making the table runners be her gift?”
An anonymous bride-to-be wants to ask her fiancé’s aunt to make table runners for her wedding, according to an inquisitive Reddit post. (iStock)
Most members of the subreddit had no qualm with the bride’s question, but some did express concern about the potential workload and timeframe of her request since the guest count is 60-75 people.
“I would ask her sooner, like at least a year out. Depending on how many table runners you want it could take longer than 8 months even if she’s a master,” one Reddit user advised. “Also giving her more time will put less pressure on her to feel she needs to rush.”
“Tell her what you’re thinking,” another person wrote. “She’ll either be enthusiastic and volunteer or she won’t. Take your cues from her.”
A different user even recommended the bride offer to pay for the aunt’s crafting service, but the bride expressed she’s sure the aunt will refuse payment altogether.
Only one person commented that they found the wording “in lieu of a gift” tacky. However, they went on to change their mind when another used said they think it won’t be tacky to say if the aunt actually agrees and the couple keeps the table runners after.
Meanwhile, the most liked comment in the thread commended the bride for her thoughtfulness.
“Make sure she knows how much you treasure the quilt and that’s the main reason why you’re asking rather than to save money,” the top commenter wrote. “I was touched just reading about why you would like her to do it so I’m sure she would love hearing that too. All she can say is no – she’s much more likely to say yes.”