After Decades With My Husband, I Had A Sexual Awakening. It Blew Up My Entire Life.
A year earlier, when I started the IV ketamine treatments that ultimately led to my sexual awakening, no one warned me that I might experience an ego death. “If this is what death feels like, I’m totally OK with it,” I thought as I sank deeper into the blissful emptiness. I remembered all the times I wanted to end my own life over the years. Suddenly, without the fear of the unknown keeping me from acting, the thought of returning to my “waking life” terrified me. Death seemed like a better option than perpetual self-hatred.