‘We Need To Talk About Death’: How Can We Live Better When We’re Dying?

4. Do We Have To Choose Between Quality And Quantity Of Life?

Underpinning the entire programme is the debate over the relative value of major medical treatment versus palliative care. The latter focuses on providing relief from the symptoms, pain and stress of a serious illness rather than focusing on curing it.

Dr Katherine Sleeman, King’s College London, said people worry that there has to be a trade off between quality of life and quantity of life, but that it might not be an either-or situation.

“People understand that palliative care might improve their quality of life, it might help improve their physical symptoms,” she said. “But they worry that they will be giving up on fancy medical treatments which will therefore reduce the quantity of life left – that palliative care will hasten their death.”

There is quite a lot of evidence that that’s not the case – “Yes, palliative care does improve people’s quality of life, but in some circumstances palliative care even improves people’s quantity of life. So there’s no trade off.”

5. It Is Possible To Have A Good Ending.

The phrase ‘palliative care’ is often associated with dying – for some, it’s synonymous with the last few weeks or even days of a person’s life. But increasingly people are starting palliative care earlier in their illness and it’s helping dramatically. It’s about the business of life, rather than death.

In St Christopher’s Hospice, life is to be enjoyed – people have acupuncture and foot massages, they drink wine, have nice lunches and try out arts and crafts, despite knowing their days are numbered. One person jokes: “I’ll be dead by the time I’ve learnt that.” There’s a sense of community and everyone knows what the end game is, but they’re living the best lives they can before that point.

‘We Need To Talk About Death’ airs on BBC Two on 23 January at 9pm.