Think Twice Before Gifting A DNA Test This Christmas

If you’re reading this just before Christmas, with your eyes darting to the bottom of the tree where a test tube lies in a box, garnished with a neat bow. Don’t panic. You’re probably fine. There probably isn’t some deep-rooted family secret in your family, just lurking in the genetic shadow, and waiting to ruin this Christmas, and every one thereafter.

But let’s be clear: genetic data can be explosive, and these products have the potential to change families. Yes, it’s fun to discover that you’re 0.0000001% Icelandic, or that your risk of developing gout is 1/500. But when DNA tests are seen as a harmless hobby and cost less than a night out on 12 pubs of Christmas, genetic family secrets are becoming virtually impossible to keep. 

Whether they were insatiable, unfaithful, or infertile ― people with a genetic secret to hide need to be aware of the new world we live in. As it stands, many parents will never inform their sons or daughters of secret siblings, or an anonymous donor who is their biological parent. 

In the initial days of fertility treatment, this lack of transparency was perhaps more excusable. There was no hint that cheap and easy DNA testing would become widespread. And there was little consideration for the feelings of children resulting from anonymous donation. The medical community was still too busy self-congratulatorily wanking itself off over the marvel of artificial insemination (while encouraging potential sperm donors to do the same).  

Likewise for adoption, and infidelity. Secrets were safe, so long as children somewhat resembled their parents. But now, identity-revealing news comes in shiny wrapped boxes. And what could be more betraying than unwrapping a box from a faceless company that has the potential to break your reality apart? 

This holiday season, one page of data can re-write everything you think about your life, and the people in it. Christmas is about family, after all. They just may not be who you think. 

Louise McLoughlin is a journalist.